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February 3, 2010
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Was there much pain?
In the end, you couldn't tell.
As your heart beat slowed,
Taking your warmth with it,
On it's way out.

Your eyes grew heavy,
Half-lidded, they sought me,
I was there, beside you,
Holding your cold hand,
But you couldn't see me.

As your last neurons fire,
Your life is spent at last.
In that final moment,
Was there much pain?
Written for :iconlive-love-write:'s latest prompt. It was kind of depressing, so, you know, I wrote about death. Go figure. XD
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:iconrevenantu:
revenantu Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2010
The ending caught me off guard. Lovely flow. This was a great piece.
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:iconskuhweer:
Skuhweer Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :D
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:iconkaz-d:
Kaz-D Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
You have been featured in Love Lit Issue Five!!! If you like the article, please favourite it by clicking the green button in the corner, and pass the article on to get your work more exposure! Well done especially because I've chosen you as the writing prompt of the week!

Oh and check out #Live-Love-Write's latest blog for the latest writing prompt :)
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:iconskuhweer:
Skuhweer Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :hug:
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:iconcollaterally-damaged:
Collaterally-Damaged Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2010   Writer
I like this. You definitely hit the nail on the head with this one. It is a pretty depressing poem, but you managed to not make it sound super emo or anything -kudo's. At one point the flow it gets a little awkward when you used "eyes" twice in the same sentence
"Your eyes grew heavy,
Half-lidded eyes sought me,"
You could probably just rearrange the words a little... like
"Your eyes grew heavy,
they sought me, half-lidded"
But I really do like this piece. The line with the neurons firing was really powerful, I loved it. Keep up the good work :D
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:iconskuhweer:
Skuhweer Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. I don't think I even realized I used eyes twice in the same sentence. XD
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:iconemmyisazebra:
EmmyIsAZebra Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
wow this is depressing, but it's good :D
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:iconskuhweer:
Skuhweer Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. :D
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